I’m tired

Applying for jobs is exhausting. It’s not just doing a search on a website, it’s the resume and cover letter editing. I don’t like writing cover letters. It’s just not my thing. How do I tell a company that they need to hire me because I’d be a great addition? Especially if I don’t really want to work there, I just want to work in general.

I’ve seen advice that says you should only apply for jobs that you really want. There aren’t many and the ones I want happen to be in areas that I don’t want to live. Back to the Northeast? No, it’s cold up there and now they’ve been attacked by snow. I’d love to work internationally, but not encouraged to try because I don’t have authorization to work in any other country aside from the US.

I don’t want to look for jobs anymore. I just want to relax and travel. However, I need a job sooner than later so I won’t run out of money. UGH!!!! Make it stooooooop.

I’m tired.

Gimme the cash!

Filing for unemployment benefits is SO much fun. *end sarcasm*

I applied for benefits with FL since this is where I live now. Weeks later I find out I’m not eligible. I have to file with CT. Now, here’s the thing: CT does have a higher amount of benefits, but there’s also the chance I won’t get anything. Then I’m SOL for “income” while looking for a new position.

You can file for benefits online, but only before 4pm. WTF! Until tomorrow…

Fingers and toes crossed for luck with unemployment benefits. Also, too, hoping for a decent tax refund.

UPDATE: I was able to submit a claim with CT for unemployment. I have a hearing scheduled to explain why I’m unemployed. *sigh*

La famille

Spent the day traveling to Memphis to spend the holiday with my family. I made it safely, but not without being tossed around in the air. I got sick and almost tossed my cookies. I am NOT a fan of turbulence.

Haven’t seen my brother since August, haven’t seen my sister since….can’t remember, and haven’t seen my Ma since October 2014. It’s definitely time for family.

UPDATE: It was a great trip; however, Ma found a way to get in a dig right before I left. Some things NEVER change, no matter how much I want them to change.

 

What’s a passion and why do I need one?

Think about what’s prevented you from pursuing your passions in the  past.  Is it fear of the unknown? Uncertainty? Feeling stuck in or committed to your current career path? Decision paralysis?

Take out a blank sheet of paper, and write a paragraph or two about what’s held you back. Then? Crumple it up and throw it away.Tomorrow, we’re starting with a blank slate.

I’ve been thinking about this all day and the one thing that comes to mind is fear. Fear is the reason I haven’t pursued my passion. Also, confusion…what ARE my passions? That’s such a loaded question. I’m passionate about many things, doesn’t mean I should be making a living doing those things.

Let’s see…I’m passionate about the law, of course I am, I went to law school. I appreciate the flexibility of the law, but I don’t appreciate people’s ignorance regarding the law. I wouldn’t mind working in law, though I don’t have any desire to practice law. I’d like to use my training and education to get a position. There’s so much you can do with a law degree, and maybe that’s the problem. Also, I’m passionate about baking. When I’m baking and experimenting with recipes, it’s the best time. I like seeing the ingredients become a sweet, tasty cake or pie or cookies. It’s lik science, but more fun and you get to eat it.  Though, I’m sure there are things you can eat that are created in a lab…pretty much all of the processed food we eat.

It’s possible to confuse passion with being really good at something. I think I’ve done that with some things…like research administration. I discovered I was good at it and decided to create a career path. That path has lead me here…to unemployment.

I’ve gotten off track. Back to the homework. My fear of being a failure has prevented me from pursuing my passions. I have student loans to pay, what if I fall flat on my face or I’m unsuccessful. Then I’d have to talk to my parents about my decisions. Fear of the uncertainty of discovering and pursuing a passion as a career. It’s scary to try new things, especially when you have bills to pay. Fear and not knowing exactly which passion to follow has prevented me from going after my passions.

Between jobs

Today is 12/18/2015 and I’ve been without a job for almost two whole days. It feels weird, I don’t feel unemployed. It feels like I’m on vacation. A long, drawn out vacation.

I anticipated the loss of my job, but remained hopeful that I would be able to keep it. It happened anyway. I will accept about 10% blame for losing my job and the other 90% is my ridiculous ex-boss. I really wanted that job and worked so hard to make it work. I thought it was my dream job, the next step up the ladder. Headed to the top, then I slipped on a rung and fell right down.

It’s time to decide the next step. Of course the next step is to find a job, but how do I go about it? Should I look for positions similar to the one I lost? Is it time for me to change careers? Do I stay in Miami or move to another city? So many questions! Didn’t feel like typing them all, just pretend I did.

While I figure it out, I have retreated to my parents house. There is love here and it’s exactly what the doctor ordered. Now I just need to find a greasy burger and fries.

Today’s affirmation: “The success in my life is a reflection of my successful attitude.”